Is it me or has the veteran hero worship reached absolutely absurd levels?
Do people even think about what these humans we call veterans actually did while they were employees of the United States government. That's what they are, employees of the U.S. government.
"Greatest Americans of all." I just heard that on Monday NIght Football. The main announcer, Mike Tirico, and the entire production of MNF poured it on hard. I'm surprised they haven't called us GODS.
We're GODS man, not just heroes or great Murikans. We're damn GODS! Lets get that straight and clear! We want total worship, not just free steaks one day a year. I want a free steak every day!
Ya, that's right, full disclosure, I'm a Vet. I served in the U.S. Navy near the official end of the Vietnam war and received an honorable discharrge. I served on s nuclear fast attack submarine stationed out of Pearl Harbor. Officially I'm a Vietnam "Era" Veteran. I point this out not because I want more people to thank me, call me a hero or worship me as a God, but to show that my sarcastic criticisms and opinions about veterans apply to myself as well. And If I'm a hero and a God, I surely have the right to speak my mind.
"So we can live free." That's right, what I did allowed you to live free, except for the spying and taxes and oligarchy and plutocracy and Patriot Act and CIA and the national debt.
Some of the heroic things I did when I was in the Navy that allow Americnas to live FREE:
-During boot camp,in San Diego when our company was given weekend leave near the end, I was with a group of sailors as we patrolled the downtown streets. While walking to another bar, an American citizen with long hair approached the group and asked if we wanted to buy some weed. We all agreed that was a good idea so two in the group accompanied the long haired dude to a nearby building to complete the transaction. The two sailors came back quickly with the bag of weed and we all inspecetd it carefully. But it was me, as I was the most experienced in the group, that discovered it wasn't weed after all, but parsley. Back then Mexican weed and parsley look pretty similar. My actions contributed to our group not smoking that shit and messing uiup our getting giant headaches, thereby faciilitating other heroic actions thoughout our Navy stints.
-While attending Submarine School in New Groten, Conn. after boot camp, I was with a friend when we were sampling some of the local watering holes. My friend had way too much to drink and I only had too much to drink so I convinced him we should sleep in his MGB-GT that was parked in the parking lot of the bar we closed. That action not only saved my life but my friend's life who went on to become one of the first U.S. sailors to take windowpane acid while out at sea on a Boomer submarine.
-When on a submarine upkeep stay in Guam, our crew was tasked with moving the submarine from a submarine tender to the submarine dock. This occurred at 0600 AM after most of the crew had experienced the local cocktail establishments until 0400 AM after a 60 day run at sea. Oscar, one of the seamen crew, lost his balance while transporting a couple ballast tank covers aft for storage and went into the water between the sub tender and our sub. He was carrying two tank covers each weighing over fifty pounds and we had been warned by the salty Chief of the Boat that if we lost one in the water he'd personally kill all of us. Oscar didn't let go of the covers and was madly kicking his legs looking up at us with his head about 2 feet under water. Andy jumped in and grabbed him around the waist while I took a line attached to the sail and shimmied down the side to retrieve the tank covers. We saved both of them and Oscar and lived to complete our tours, thereby insuring the freedom of all Americans.
I could go on but there are literally hundreds of examples like these to show the American people that I really am a God, a Hero, and worthy of free steaks once a year for the rest of my life.
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